Manure on his shoe (go back »)

There once was a man, who had a bad day,

He also smelled bad, so his wife couldn’t stay,

He cried like a woman, and begged like a dog,

But she’d already left after calling him a frog,

He took it personally, and moved to the city pond,

But it was occupied, by this dude called James Bond,

So the man was astonished, and asked for an autograph,

But James Bond was mad, coz he’d just disturbed his bath,

So he spat on him once, and shot at him twice,

And asked if he could get him some beef fried rice,

But the other man said no, because he had not been nice,

So James Bond got out the pond, gave him a head butt,

And he threw himself on him, with his eyes wide shut,

The other man got scared, so he tried to escape,

And James Bond was too slow, so he had a piece of steak,

The other man was hungry, so he came back for some food,

And then he saw James’ gun, and he knew that he was screwed,

But the man was clumsy, and somehow shot himself,

And as he lay dying, he pointed to a shelf,

So the other man left him, and took a closer look,

He found a note lying, right on top of a book,

He took the note and read it, and tears began to cover,

His face because this is what it said: “I am your brother”

But the truth is they were tears of laughter, coz his brother was now dead,

And he could now take his brother’s wife, who could bake some real nice bread,

So he made his way with a smile on his face, but he stepped on James Bond’s gun,

And triggered it by mistake, a bullet came in his face, and he fell down in the sun,

The two were shortly buried, and the wives remarried, and this story’s in fact not true,

To think it was all due, because the man never knew, he had manure on his shoe.

In Poetry